"I'm a crow," he said. The telephone wire pressed his nude buttocks into a disturbing shape. It was awkward, trying to look up and see his face without getting an eyeful of everything else.
"How did you even get up there, anyway?" Livy asked.
He glared down his nose at us. "I flew. I told you, I'm a crow."
I sighed. "You're not a crow. You're a person. You're coming home. Now come down and help us find your pants."
The wire swayed as he repositioned himself. "Better not park your car under any tree branches or utility poles, buster."
File Under D For De Quincey
4 hours ago