Wednesday, January 13, 2010

(copper and ashes)

This post is a violation of the rules. I wrote it and trimmed off about twenty words, then stalled. Finally I realized that any further trimming would hurt the story more than helping. Rather than gut the story in the name of my abstract and arbitrary rules, I'm letting this one stand at about 125 words. What do you think?


Edan woke to the taste of blueberries. Blueberries were invigorating. There was a push to add another flavor, pancakes or muffins. The Flavor Board would hear arguments next week.

Edan chewed the pap from his morning NutriPak. He read the paper (smoky bacon) and kept an eye on the clock (strawberry jam). When it was too tart to delay any longer, Edan left.

His car was cold (cinnamon) and the traffic report said there was congestion (lima beans). Edan took a shortcut that smelled like burnt toast. He’d get to work on time (unripe bananas).

He didn’t see the truck until it was too late. They barreled toward one another, and all Edan could think was that he’d finally know what it tasted like…

1 comment:

Loren Eaton said...


(Synesthesia is fun.)